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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

SKIT: Weird American Office

Attached is the recording of our skit presentation last semester, which was voted to be the best skit in our section!

Big thanks to
Tatebe — Me
Tanaka — Mern-jie Tan
Boss — Steve Ripley
Employee — Stephanie Kempf
T.A. who proofread and corrected our script — Eri Sato
Professor who assigned this presentation — Takako Nakakubo
... and classmates who voted for us! :D

<English translation>

Tatebe: So glad that we came to America! Tanaka, are you feeling nervous now?

Tanaka: Yes, I'm a little bit nervous because we haven't met the boss! Tatebe, do you know what kind of person our boss is?

Tatebe: According to his Facebook, he likes to play with his pet bird... 

Tanaka: Ah, really?

Tatebe: Eh?! He often plays a game called "Hentai" too!

Tanaka: Eh?! Why would he post "Hentai" game he played on Facebook??? Odd...

(Boss and employee Kempf come in)

Boss: Nice to meet you! I'm your boss Ripley, the most handsome man in the world. Don't you all agree?

Tatebe & Kempf: Agree...

Boss: Oh wait. (give Tanaka a pile of files) I want these completed by tomorrow. Please do your work.

Tatebe: Okay, got it.

Boss: Please show them our workplace and introduce them to the other employees. I'm looking forward to working with you.

Tatebe & Tanaka: I'm looking forward to working with you.

(Boss leaves)

Kempf: I'm Kempf. So you're Tanaka, and you are Tatebe right.

Tanaka: Kempf, seems like our boss is strict eh?

Kempf: Yes, I think so too. I was instructed to wash his bike every week, bake a birthday cake for his pet bird etc...


Kempf: I don't want to wash (your bike)!

Boss: If you don't wash (my bike), I will reduce your pay. I have dates with Japanese women, therefore I must ride a clean bike!

Kempf: Okay, got it.

Back to now...

Kempf: It was awful!

(Tanaka drops the files)

Kempf: Boss made me wash his cup. See you later!

(Kempf leaves)

Tanaka: Tatebe, I wish I have told Kempf that I love her!

Tatebe: Eh? Why?

Tanaka: Kempf is extremely cute yo!

Tatebe: Uh, if so, why don't you go and buy her flowers during lunch break?

Tanaka: Good idea! Eh, it's already lunch break now! I shall go now!

(Tanaka leaves)

Kempf: Tatebe, are you dating Tanaka now?

Tatebe: No, it seems like Tanaka does not have a girlfriend now.

Kempf: Good! I think Tanaka is attractive... see you later!

(Kempf leaves, boss enters)

Boss: Your lips are sexy like Angelina Jolie's!

Tatebe: Oh, thank you.

Boss: Today is my bird's birthday, would you like to come to my place tonight?

Tatebe: Tonight I would rather not. Send my regards to your bird!

Boss: Often get turned down by women... Ahh, but I have a bike! Shall we ride the bike together?

Tatebe: Bike is small, it's hard for two people to ride together... if you buy a plane, I will ride it with you! Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.

(Tatebe leaves)

Boss: I will go to the bank, then go to the plane shop!

(Boss leaves, Tanaka and Kempf enter)

Tanaka: Flower flower flower~ Hey, this.

Kempf: For me? Why?

Tanaka: Because I love you!

Kempf: Really?

Tanaka: Yes!

Kempf: I love you too!

Tanaka: Really?!

Kempf: I want to get married! Please propose!

Tanaka: Got it! *one knee down*

(Tatebe & Boss enter)

Tatebe: I would love to have Tanaka and Kempf married! Let's have the wedding!

Boss: Tanaka, Kempf, do you want to become a married couple?

Tanaka: Of course! I will only marry Kempf!

Boss: Okay! Now you're married! I pronounce you man and wife!

Tatebe: Congratulations! So glad that you two get married!

Tanaka: I'm quitting this job! My Kempf, would you go back to Japan with me?

Kempf: Let's go back to Japan!

Tatebe: Please don't forget about me!

(Tanaka & Kempf leave)

Boss: Tatebe, when I was out just now, I bought a plane~

Tatebe: Please wait for me!

(Tatebe leaves)

Boss: Too bad!

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