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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Who is the real victim?

Dear readers, 

I know y'all are getting bored of my overdue trip posts. I know it was already almost a year ago since I last posted a real life drama post. I guess life has been treating me very well since I resumed my practice of The Magic. I did not encounter any major dicks in the past year. For this I am grateful.

But deep down inside, I yearn to polish my how-to-deal-with-bitches skills... My accumulated experiences are too precious to be spared from use. Not to mention all the training I got from the 3 mock trials I was involved in (I was the lawyer twice!) and a few more mock trials I helped/judged... Things I learned from all those mock trials conducted by very dear Professor Borges do come in handy. All of you who were a part of any mock trial before, are you nodding your head with me? (yes you are)

It's time.

For justice.

Here I present to you, ladies and gentlemen of the juries, the Facebook statuses of two roommates involved in this real life drama, in chronological order.

(nicknames are translation of real names)



The status is either privatized or deleted, but I remember it was

Flower: "When at guilt, stay quiet. Story-of-your-life. -feeling amused"

(Flower already blocked Terbang, hence Terbang did not see this and did not post anything in return.)


Flower posted on Facebook again, visibility set to "Custom" like her previous posts.

Terbang finally posted a public status to address these issues:

(The original status lacks spacing and is quite difficult to read, 
hence I copy and paste below and add in some spacing.)

First of all, I would like to apologize to those who are totally unrelated to the things that I am about to write… but I have to fight for my own justice. This post is made to present my side of the story, you can then judge after you hear from both sides… since Flower clearly did not abide to “When at guilt stays quiet” as she posted on Facebook and deleted afterwards, here I am not staying quiet anymore. 

From Flower’s first post about me that she has already deleted: 
Tips to STOP from being the HOUSEMATE from HELL:
(attn: Terbang)

1) Don't make our personal problems public. (Karma's a BITCH!) 
If by “public” you mean ranting about our problems to a few my close friends or ranting once/twice on Facebook about “roommates’ problems” without mentioning name, yes I did, and I have already made a private, formal apology through text messages. 
But look, who is making the issues PUBLIC TO ALL FACEBOOK FRIENDS by posting long posts on Facebook now, one after another, and tagging my name? Although you have deleted the earlier posts, I am sure there are many mutual friends of ours who have seen it. 
2) It's rude to wreck/destroy other people's room when they are not home; respect people's PERSONAL space. (yes, I noticed the things in my wardrobe & my cabinets are all out of place) 
Okay, this is when the real issue comes in. 
I bought things online from Body Shop and Bath and Body Works (BBW) and the two packages should arrive at Wednesday, 04/10/2013 at 11:49 A.M. and Monday, 04/08/2013 at 9:26 A.M respectively.  
I tracked the packages online and the information indicates that the packages have been delivered to my apartment. But I DID NOT RECEIVE ANY. My food and kitchen utensils have went missing many times before, and there are only 3 people staying in this apartment.  
I called Flower and asked her to come home to settle this personally and she refused to by saying that she needs to finish up her paper. When I asked if she took my packages, she denied and said to me, “YOU CAN GO INSIDE MY ROOM NOW. YOU WILL FIND NOTHING.”  
I DID RESPECT YOU. That’s why I called to ask. You GRANTED ME PERMISSION to enter your room. So I did. And I certainly DID NOT WRECK/DESTROY your room. I apologize for the things out of place, I was trying to look for my packages and I didn’t arrange your belongings back to their original places after that. I am sorry. 

3) Avoid FALSE stealing accusations on the coincidence that we use the same face wash. Realize that you are NOT the only customer in the entire world. 
We did not use the SAME face wash. I bought the Tea Tree Skin Cleansing Facial Wash for my sister and found you using the EXACTLY SAME PRODUCTS as I bought. You explained that you brought over from Malaysia LAST YEAR, and so coincidently you started using them AFTER the “identical” products I ordered were delivered to me.  
So coincidently I DID NOT RECEIVE what I ordered. I am sorry if I accused you wrongly, but see, it’s natural for me to doubt. 

Products I found in her room. Click to enlarge.

My proof of purchase: 

Click to enlarge
Click to enlarge
I understand that you do not have proof of your purchase from Body Shop but I can do you a favor. If you would, provide me the items, I will ask the company to check the barcode on the products. I already talked to them and they said they can check if the barcodes match those I purchased.  
So, WOULD YOU HAND ME THE IDENTICAL PRODUCTS (preferably within a day to prevent complications- you do not want me to suspect that you purposely buy another set of products and hand me those instead right?)  
If you fail to do so, please understand that I DO HAVE REASONS to suspect you. It’s not mere accusation. 

4) Get over your past grudges like a matured person, or do what I do! I've been completely ignoring you for a very long time. Works wonders!  
I did get over my past grudges like a matured person, which was why I chose to stay quiet. I even apologized to you personally, and you said “let bygone be bygone”. 

I would appreciate it if you continue to ignore me, but why didn’t you? Why did you raise this up again? I didn’t tell anyone about this matter but people knew about this when you posted the status.  
5) Try to clean your week-long dishes. You're not the only working student in the house. (luckily, I do them for you, if not you'd be sick by now)  
One thing for sure, I RARELY eat at home-- I don’t even remember the last time I cooked at home. I have no idea who left those “week-long dishes”, it was certainly not me.  
6) Take into account opinions and suggestions. FYI, "Please" & "Thank You" indicate politeness. (Though you clearly don't deserve it)  
Last time I checked, I DID USE POLITE LANGUAGE, even when someone whom I suspect have been stealing my things? 
Click to enlarge 
I am sorry if my language is not polite enough. 

7) Stop nosing around my business! I spent weeks bedridden & you didn't even acknowledge it. So, F*&K OFF if you think I'd do anything to satisfy your ego.  
How to stop if I never start nosing around your business? :(
What I care about are the products I SPENT MONEY on, and went missing :(

And NO, this is no exaggeration. Fly, obviously you'll NEVER listen to me but HOPEFULLY the people around you can make a difference to your APPALLING behavior. 
… okay.  
Then you posted this: 
I'm fed up with you spreading lies. Hw about we let the evidence do the talking? 

1. On the left, Bath & Body Works body mists I bought 3for$10. She insists that this is hers that she got from The Body Shop. Say whatt? NOT even SAME brand la dei!  
I know that evidence should do the talking… but I NEVER said those are from The Body Shop??? I used “BBW” in the note that I left you which stands for Bath and Body Works. But well, there is no evidence to prove whether your claim (that I did claim that those are from The Body Shop) or mine is true.

2. Top right, Body Shop's Tea Tree Oil serum I got from Msia. CLEARLY states RM28.00. Again, she insists that this is from a package she ordered online from a US store. Tsk tsk.  
Sadly that is not the bottle I claim I bought.  
This is the bottle I claim:  
Click to enlarge
The one in your picture is white, the one I claim is green. If you want evidence to speak for you, maybe you should use the relevant one?   

3. Bottom right, MAC foundation cream SAMPLE I got from Macy's. I hv several samples in various tones. As usual, she insists that I took her MAC products. 
Again, please use relevant evidence if you want to prove your innocence? I did not make such claim about your FOUNDATION CREAM. What I am claiming are: 
- Lipstick Sounds Like Noise (2 units) 
- Day Dreaming Eye Shadow 
- Quite Natural Paint Pot  
Click to enlarge
And the receipt is related to your next point…  
4. Most importantly, for self hygiene purposes, rubbish bags from my room are thrown in the dumpster on a daily basis (that is if I am home, though lately I rarely go back nwys). The day you 'supposedly' found your things in my bin was the 3rd day I hvn't been home. It would be IMPOSSIBLE for my bin to be filled. Bad idea if u think u can get away with FRAMING me. Lol 

Click to enlarge
So yes. I found the receipt in your trash bin when you granted me permission to check your room. And you are right, it could be me trying to frame you, and I don’t have evidence to prove that I did not.  
But can you prove your claim that you clear your trash bin on a daily basis, and that you have not been home for days? No? I guess we are equally evidence-less on this, let the people choose which side to believe then.  
Something to think about: If I were to frame her, I would wait till she came home, bring with me a witness to go into her room and catch her red-handed. THAT is the purpose of framing. Why would I arrange the products nicely on the floor, take picture and make an empty claim that nobody/nothing can prove???  
Conclusively, she's too caught up with her lies to the point where even she fully succumbs to it. I sincerely sympathize your ignorance. It must suck to have such a closed mind, girl. 
I am not going to say much about this because the point of this clarification is to clear up my name and not to get anyone go against anyone. I am just letting evidence speak for my reason of doubting you. If you cannot provide equivalent, legitimate evidence to prove your innocence, I then have a valid reason to stick to my suspicion, especially if I do not receive the Body Shop products mentioned above to check the barcodes within a day this status is posted. Please. Thank you.

Thoughts on my mind:

1) So apparently Flower's "evidence" status was not referring to what Terbang claimed to be stolen.

2) Terbang found eleven products identical to what she bought and went missing in Flower's room.
Flower claimed that it's coincidence, but failed to provide proofs of purchase. 
I find it hard to believe such level of coincidence. Eleven identical products. ALL NEW. Really?
If Flower was framed, she should have returned the products to Terbang, but why didn't she?

3) I left a comment under Flower's "evidence" status:

I don't find the "she might destroy my things" excuse convincing. Terbang is making this request in public, if she destroys the products, isn't she putting herself into trouble?

In fact Terbang doesn't even need to keep the products. A photo of the bar codes will do.

What is the real reason behind Flower's unwillingness to let Terbang check the bar codes? I wonder...

4) Flower customized the visibility of her posts. Terbang makes her post visible to public. Like Malay saying goes, berani kerana benar.

5) The language both sides use. I leave this to you to judge.

6) When Terbang kept quiet, Flower kept posting statements that were meant to defame/humiliate Terbang. After Terbang finally responded, instead of fight for her so-claimed innocence, Flower  chooses to let it go by posting a forgiving post:

"Evidence speaks louder than words" eh?

I heard that the elder Kak is working on bringing both sides to do a face-to-face confrontation, but apparently one side is avoiding it because she has "chosen to let it go". We shall see.

Be it misunderstandings (really?) or not, I definitely think that there need to be an official, public apology.

Will update if things escalate further from here.

Update 1:

This friend of Terbang pretty much summarized everything in the following comment directed to Flower's boyfriend.

Update 2:

The boyfriend replied. Since all parties leaving comments are aware that the post is visible to public, and that I already quietly embedded the link somewhere up there, I am not gonna mosaic-ed the names from now on.

Update 3:

I found a pretty significant loophole.

Meanwhile, I was informed that Hana made a police report... she claimed that the bank called her to ask her authorization for a transaction made on her debit card using UW computer (to purchase cosmetics products online). And she claimed that it wasn't her who made the transaction, and pointed her finger at Farah. Police will go to their apartment for further investigation. 

I am not sure how Hana, who is most likely the guilty side so far, can be so confident to involve police in this. And I dunno what exactly Hana reported to police (credit card fraud? or that she was "framed" and "wrongly accused"?) that would need investigation of their apartment. One thing for sure, this puts Farah and another roommate at disadvantage, because Hana still has keys to the apartment and access to Farah and another roommate's room, although she has already moved to her boyfriend's place after this incident. She can easily set them up if she wants... I dunno whether she is plotting to, could be me worrying too much for the two poor girls.

And I don't know on what basis Hana accuses Farah of the debit card fraud. How can you accuse someone with no proof? I hope that it wasn't Hana herself faking the fraud using Farah's UW account... I am not accusing Hana, I am just hoping this is not the case, and my worry is reasonable because not only she has access to Farah's room, she also knows Farah's schedule. Sneaking in then obtaining Farah's UW password when nobody was at home was not impossible.

The good news is, from the feedback I received, people who witness the FB fights with rationale are showing support :)

I really really hope that with all our eyes and brains together, we can watch out for any vengeful parties that try to play tricks and protect the real victim.

May God bless the innocent one and punish the guilty one. I am praying hard this time.

Update 4:

No police investigation so far. Still waiting.

(which make you wonder, is her claim about police report that she posted on Facebook really true?)

The boyfriend is the funniest comedian ever, seriously. Wait, you want evidence? Okay no problem!


Back to the topic,

Update 5:

Someone on the fence sent me this:

What this friend told me when he sent the printscreens:

"How she knew the attempt was from the library? I've experienced an actual fraud myself, even then the bank didn't tell me the tracked location. All they told me was which store and when. Can the bank really tell where? If so, why would they bother to do that? It's not a real fraud, just attempts. They will be really busy if they always check for the source of fraud attempts, it literally happens every second."

And I don't get how the bank will know the attempt is "to buy cosmetic products" if that someone "failed to provide some security-related information"? The transaction was not even successful, the purchase didn't go through, can the bank actually tell the content of the attempted purchase???

Posting this as a status and waiting for anyone insightful about bank and fraud stuff to answer my doubts.

This too:


  1. As someone who follows tech closely, I can confirm that it ain't easy to track the supposed 'fraud attempt' location. Heck, if its that easy, there'd be like millions of people being prosecuted for illegal downloading.

    But no, you'd need a police warrant, go through the isp and then, they'd have to pinpoint the exact location...

    Tl;dr: After fraud attempt, they'd usually just be able to tell you general location (read: Madison), not College Library @ Madison,WI