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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

15 reasons why I hate peeling mangosteens

Note 1: Scroll down until you see a row of ♥♥♥ if you don't wanna read shit about my blog skin and blog photos.
Note 2: This post is written in Malaysian English. (bah, I know you wanna say all my posts are)


As you can see (English professors will tell you that this phrase is totally unnecessary)...
THIS BLOG HAS A NEW SKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The layout is still the same, but I designed everything I could change okay! The header, the content wrapper, title of the widgets, even the background colors grey and pink are brighter now!!! Smart or not! The only computer class I took before is CSC101 which gave very basic knowledge in HTML scripting! I learned CSS scripting on my own from the internet wei! :D

Designing a new skin took me 12 hours in a total. WTF. I was at the edge of vomiting blood when some small details didn't seem to appear the exact way I want. Because my CSS knowledge is so fucking limited. But never mind, I have creativity! I did a lot of tricks to compromise!!!

Give me comments okay♥ Does the new skin take long to load? It doesn't work well in Internet Explorer, but ahhh who cares, which monkey is still using Internet Explorer now?!!

However..... I cannot edit the default size for blog photos because it's controlled by Blogger and not my template :( I'm using the old editing machine which the largest default size is 400 x 400 px. The new editing machine offers an extra large option, 640 x 640px which is over big. My blog column is only 550px-wide.

Every time I blog, I have to adjust the size of each photo manually, one by one, by editing post HTML. First change the values for width and height, then change s400 to s0, or else the re-sized photos will be blurred. Most of my blog posts are heavy with photos, which means I kill my eye cells every time I re-size the photos--especially when the photos are from Google images with variable sizes!!! Madness!!! Can go crazy okay!!!

If you know any remedy please tell me!!!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


I officially declare mangosteen as the fruit I dislike.

I know I should be appreciative and eat as m mangosteens as I can before going to the States--no sorry, I'm seriously sick of it now!

Why is peeling (opening?) mangosteens so troublesome huh?!!!



#1 I hate it when I see black ants running inside and outside the plastic bag containing mangosteens.



#2 I hate the ugly rind (skin). So dirty!



#3 I hate it when I try to 'kopek' a mangosteen, I found out it's super duper rock-like hard, doesn't even get dented with my full force on, and I have to use a fork to poke through the rind with several attempts, in the end the flesh is not even edible.

#4 I hate it when I have to press the mangosteen using not-too-much-and-not-too-little-but-ngam-ngam force, because if you press too hard, you might make it squirt/spoil the flesh.



#5 I hate it when I feel happy to see fat juicy white flesh the second I rip apart the rind, then the next second BOOM ants explode out. Then I scream but cannot drop the mangosteen onto the floor, ants crawl onto my hands until I find the trash bin/plastic bag to throw the mangosteen into.

I hate ants as much as I hate cockroaches!!!



#6 I hate it when the mangosteen breaks apart into weird shapes. 80% of the mangosteens I 'process' will become very artistic. I'm very talented.



#7 I hate it when the rind juice taints the flesh. The rind juice is bitter.



#8 I hate it when after kopek-ing some mangosteens, my hands look as if I just committed a murder. Or finished painting a bloody portrait.

Uh oh I just killed some mangosteens! Shall I wash my hands before picking out the flesh to eat?!



#9 I hate it when mangosteens squirt their rind juice onto the floor or my shirt and I wonder if my period comes.



#10 I hate it when I have to take out the flesh carefully so that my fingers don't accidentally squeeze against the inner wall of the rind and make the rind juice leaks into the flesh room.



#11 I hate it when the flesh tastes a little weird. I start wondering whether the ants tasted it before, or the flesh is a little rotten, or it's just tainted by rind juice.



#12 I hate it when the flesh looks a little rotten but I'm not sure. Should I eat or throw away???



#13 I hate it when I see fat juicy flesh looking dented due to my terrible press-open skills.



#14 I hate it when the flesh looks so fat and juicy, I eat with expectation, then turns out 70% of its mass is made up by the seed.



#15 No picture already. What to rant about? Erm, I hate it when I have to eat big bags of mangosteens everyday for one whole week! Just because the last time I tasted it was 3 years ago, and eating durians made my body hot, so I suggested my mom to buy some mangosteens and she bought many mangosteens everyday until I buay tahan and finally told her I grow phobia already.

Okay. My skills suck. You win.


I was once told by a Malaysian teacher about her experience with mangosteens in the angmoh place (USA or UK, I can't remember). She said mangosteen is a type of expensive desserts in high-class restaurants there. o_O

One night, she was dining in a high-class restaurant. The table next to her ordered 3 mangosteens for dessert. The mangosteens were served on a plate with a shiny silvery lid covering them on top, the trained waiter then served the customers by peeling off the rind with a special knife designed to 'open' mangosteens. The peeling process took 5 minutes. Then the customers use forks to pick up the flesh and eat.

My teacher buay tahan looking at their pretentious procedures, so she walked to their table to demonstrate our sakai (uncivilized) but efficient way of 'opening' mangosteens. Press-open. Done.

According to her, the white people were in awe like this :O Then she smiled and bowed and walked back to her seat, feeling like a heroin. Okay I made up the bow part.

I think I actually need the specially-designed knife :/

Cheh saje nak act high-class.


I checked Wikipedia and I didn't see any 'vitamin' under the nutrition column... maybe I didn't read properly. Very late already my brain ain't functioning well. If you care, do some research and tell me in the comments.


"Beginning in 2007 for the first time, fresh mangosteens were sold from speciality produce stores in New York City for as high as $45 per pound..." (Wikipedia)

$45 = RM135.360
1 pound = 0.45359237 kg

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I think I can consider bringing some to the States for sale.


xoxo
Crazenne

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