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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Friday, July 1, 2011

How deep is your love?

How do you measure love?

I know my eyes look freaky but that's the actual size of my eyes. The irises are enlarged though.

Not how much you miss her.
Not how often you wish to see him.
Not how desperate you are to want to have sex with her.
Not how jealous you get when you see her flirt with other men.

Love is measured by--
Your willingness to put aside your needs for your partner.

Yes. You know how much you love when you find out how far you can go to quit or start doing something for your partner.

If you can't control your temper when you know your partner hate to be accused of/yelled at, yo are weighing your fucking ego more than her need for your trust and respect.

If you can't quit flirting with the opposite sex (or/and the same sex, for homosexuals/bisexuals) when you know your partner will get jealous about it, you are placing your need for attention beyond his happiness.

If you can't stop sleeping around when you know your partner will get heartbroken to find out the truth, you are putting your need for sexual pleasure beyond her need of your loyalty (and the wholesomeness of her heart).

If you can't give him more time and tell him more about your outings (where you go, with whom, what you are doing), you are acquiring freedom and personal space more than you want him.

Yes as simple as that.
Love is measure by your willingness to satisfy the needs of your partner's!

Don't tell me bullshit like "it's just that I don't value things the way he does" or "those things are trivial, it's just that she wants to take them so seriously", it simply means that you value your fucking standards more!

In short, your unwillingness comes from your individualism. All requests for break-up arise because people who ask for it love themselves more than they love their partners. No? Some ask for break-up because they think their partners deserve better? BULLSHIT. Fucking lame okay? Don't fucking go into relationship before you fix your inferiority! Go think of some better excuses you idiots!!!

(Don't ask me why I sound so pissed off. I dunno. Apparently I get pissed off at people and things easily...)

I'm not saying that you should give up your needs for your partner without a limit. Both sides should sacrifice, and by so you compromise and find the balance.

If you think you deserve a better match, go ahead, but break up first, don't ever cheat on your partner because nobody respect such behavior unless they are also that selfish and cowardly!
(unless you're in an open relationship or your partner allows it)

And don't tell me love is measured by trust. It is undeniable that trust is essential to keep a relationship going but no, love is not measured by trust. Trust is... something you allow yourself to have (quoted), after getting to know somebody so well that you can predict what he/she will do and will not do. Trust is not a gauge to measure how deep your romantic love is so stop giving lame quote like "no trust no love" to avoid answering when your partner questions you out of suspicion. How can your partner trusts you when he/she knows very well that you think with your reproductive organ and have a glorious history in telling lies? How?

If you never cheat, how hard is it to explain nicely and make your partner feel better?
(or... How hard is it to question less if you know your partner is the loyal type of people and hate being questioned always?)

Sometimes break-up is the only way to help you realize how much you need to be with your partner... This is when the loss of your relationship boost your willingness to compromise. So you make up.

Too bad you can't always undo things. There will be time where it's already too late. Somehow inevitable because... lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten. (quoted again)

See what I mean? It's a never ending tug-of-war to find out what we treasure more.

Love more; hate less.

ps: It's absolutely okay to hate stubborn, ignorant and hypocritical people if you really can't force yourself into loving them enough to make an effort to save them from stupidity.

pps: I know the conclusion is very random.


1 comment:

  1. if your wife has an affair, how deep is the love then?