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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Notty's new 'bed'

Just a photo post... wanted to post something controversial but I wasn't in the mood to go deep. And I'm reluctant to turn in now because no matter what time I sleep, I wake up at 2.30 pm wtf.


So do you still remember how Notty looked like when he was a kitten?




Notty is a very lucky cat. He usually has his naps on my bed, sometimes I even put a small blanket on him when I see him shivering.


One night when I was blogging, I was amused to see where Notty chose to sleep!

Not on some mats on the floor. Not on my bed. Not on the sofa.

He slept on...

the table!


I don't think people I know let their cats sleep on their beds, what about on the tables? :D

Sometimes he sleeps on boxes and chairs too. Or on some random books on the floor. Funny how when Donut left his textbook on the floor, Notty walked all the way towards the book and sat on it. And waved his tail. Hehehehe.

One thing bad when he sleeps on the table: I have to frequently check whether he is falling!


This means it's time to act and save him.

Will cats be as agile as usual when they sleep and fall down suddenly?


No enough space for him to sleep but still want to squeeze here. Crazy cat. I think cats love squeezing themselves into small spaces.


Hehehe square face!


And this is his signature sleeping pose!




OMG so cute can die!


He just woke up and I don't see him anywhere near now. I think he already went downstairs to look for lizards/cockroaches.

Hehehehe.


Meow.
Crazenne

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A dream about my ex-crush

Few days ago, I dreamed about holding hands and cuddling with......




Not Rabbit lah. Those are my real lashes btw.






...... my last crush. *'__'*


Ahem.

Fine, not really my last crush lah! To be specific, he is the last ex-crush (has never been my boyfriend) who managed to give me the butterflies-in-stomach kind of feeling.

Because he was (and still is) the most good-looking Asian-eyed guy I have ever met!

Now tell you the story about me and him... And I will be extra careful not to let you know the exact time this story took place. Bluek :P


Once upon a time, we were taking one same class (could be a high-school tuition class or a college course :P) but have never talked to each other. I think it was me who broke the ice first. I got his phone number from somebody, then we had a few conversations (in texts) over the phone. The conversations were pleasurable and some were rather personal, so I kept a hope. Yet I couldn't tell whether he was interested because it was always me who started texting after the previous text session.

When I finally threw a few obvious hints, he sorta... backed off, replying things about how I wouldn't understand his inferiority. I was wondering, why the sudden change in attitude? So I tried to recall every details of our interactions, over the phone and in real life (not that over the phone is unreal). And then--

DANG.

I turned him down so fucking many times when he sent me signals that he was interested to get closer.


There was once I bumped into him at the corridor. Just the two of us. I saw him coming from the opposite direction and continued walking with my eyes looking at the floor. He took a few bigger steps and blocked my way by standing right in front of me. I stepped to the right and continued walking, left him behind me without uttering a sound and making any eye contact.

It was awkward. He walked off and I was like wtf just happened.

Another time we were walking down the staircase with his and my friends (not mutual friends). He was right next to me. He whispered my name but I pretended like I never heard him. He poked me but I kept walking without looking at him.

When we were in class, I looked away everytime he turned his face towards my direction. Once he texted and complained about how boring the class was. I ignored him. Another time he caught me looking at him, so he texted to tease me. I sternly denied that I was looking at him.

And when he asked to have a study session with me I dragged another friend along.

Cuz I thought all those were just his attempts to make fun of me.

.............

Someone kill me please. 

How could I dismiss all the signals and fuck up all the chances just because of my pretentious shyness?!

So what if he was really just trying to make fun of me. Even so it could mean something.

Of course I could undo his ego bruises if I told him I was just shy/nervous and did not mean to be hostile/cold, but I didn't--because I couldn't lay down my own fucking ego either!


After a few weeks, I heard rumors about him and a girl getting very close. I asked him, he said they were just friends. I told him I didn't believe, yet he never did anything to prove himself. No further explanation. I did not text him anymore because final examination was at the corner. He said he would ask me out after the exam.

But he didn't. And I did not try to contact him. Life went on...


Not the end of the story yet lol. After half a year, something happened and proved that he and that girl were really just friends.

However...

He and a girl whom I never though he had relation to become couple 

Out of curiosity (and jealousy, I must admit), I stalked his girlfriend on FB and found her blog. In one of the post, she wrote about what he told her when she lacked confidence and felt inferior......

GUESS WHAT?! What he told her was exactly what I used to tell him!

Should I be happy???
They are together for a loooooooooooong time already (I nearly wrote in exact how many months/years lol) and she still uses that particular idea that I used to motivate him whenever she feels down!

I dunno how I should feel about it.




In my dream, I confronted him about the confident-boosting concept and the online name suggested by me which he was still using until recently. He blushed and admitted that he had feelings for me and the feelings were not over yet! (I know our interactions were so puppy and chances are low that I am the reason but blah! Lemme be self-absorbed! LOL!)

Then I asked him to dump his girlfriend and come with me. He nodded, looked into my eyes *melt*, tilted his head closer and--

GAH!
Mood spoiler! His girlfriend popped up in the background! His girlfriend's family and all his friends popped up too! WTF why all my sweet dreams consist of spoilers huh?!

They ran towards us. We held hands and started running. Next, we reached a magic door. We ran through the door and turned transparent. We thought the escape was over, but soon we found out that our transparency was fading away a little by a little and the crazy people started chasing after us again! We continued running and reached another door. Behind the door was a huge black hole.

We turned and saw the running people getting near, looked at each other, took a deep breath and jumped--

We landed on a desert island! This time there's no more interruption! Yippieeeeeee!!!

I gave him a slutty stare. He blinked rapidly and bit his lower lip. (hahaha comedy or what?) I signaled him to come over. He made his move. And then I did something impressive which ended this seduction...









I woke up. @#$%^&*!!!


Anyway, I don't have feelings for him since loooooooong time ago, and I won't have feelings for him even if both of us are available now. My taste for men has changed. I'm just jealous that he courted his girlfriend but never really hit on me when I took the first move to get to know him!


Human's jealousy is weird. Sometimes it's not that we want that somebody/something that much, we get jealous just because that somebody/something we missed/dumped is now owned by some other people.



Actually I do think his girlfriend is cute but I am way hotter leh.



Even my phone chio-er than hers. Wtf.



<abrupt end>



xoxo

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

You are selfish

"You are selfish."
"I'm not."
"Admit it. Everybody is."
"No I'm not, I ......"

YOU WHAT?

Want to be successful to make your family proud? Want to be well-off to give your wife and children a better living? Want to be a good teacher to mold a better society?

or even...

Want to find cure for cancer to help human beings? Want to donate money to make poor people live better?





You know how I see this?
Everything I do is for my own self.
For family, for society, for people in need --> For me.
Doing things for people is my own interest and is for my benefits, because whatever I do is to make myself feel better.
Yes you help people because you have concern for them, you wanna make them happy bla bla bla yes of course I know because I'm like you too, but all these matter only when making them happy makes you and me happy.

The origin of all your motives and actions is you. Admit it.
But I'm not asking you to be selfish as in 'regardless of others' okay. I'm trying to justify the existence of selfishness in all of us.

The logic is like this:


See? You must make it indirect and tadaa--you are hereby recognized to be selfless!

By the way, although I hate ignorance, I am still tolerant of selfish people who are ignorant when compared to selfish people who harm others for worthless interests.

(Aren't ignorance a sort of harm too by allowing the suffering continues? Define worthless? Ahhh... enough enough! The readers know what I mean la! Gila debate -_-)

You can say I'm twisting words, I just can't resist posting this after knowing my bestest (I know there is no such word) friend's relationship situation...


"You are selfish."
"And you're not??"
"I'm not. I know."

YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME.

YOU refuse to meet up with your girlfriend every time she asks for it;
YOU don't text/call your girlfriend much;
YOU don't want to listen when your girlfriend is down;
YOU even accuse her of trying to annoy you when she asks for a little commitment.

"Try to understand, it's not that I don't want to meet/text/call often, you know it's because of (insert reasons here)..."

Yadda yadda I don't care if your reasons (be thankful I don't use the word 'excuses') are true and valid, YOUR girlfriend is feeling down, insecure and lonely because of YOU, may I ask what have you done to make her feel better?

Don't say you sacrifice/suffer to maintain this relationship because what she has gone through is NOT ANY LESS. I'm not denying that you have done a lot for her, but what you do is not what she wants/needs! Distance becomes an obstacle only when you don't make an effort to overcome it! Blah!

I dunno what the hell that fellow is thinking. I can't find any other girl who can bear all these, his temper, neglect and unwillingness to commit.

Yet he calls her selfish and insists he's not!!! Does he know how to spell 'treasure' or not???


Back to my point...

I fucking can't stand people with holier-than-thou attitude! Just admit that you are selfish la please, don't deny it and call other people selfish instead! I hate these hypocrites as much as I hate act-innocently-cute-and-show-cleavage type of girls! (must include girls, don't wanna be called sexist after bitching about that fellow)

!!!!!!!!!


(I don't know her personally, my bestie showed me her FB profile and we just don't respect the way she takes self-shots... Innocence and cleavage don't go together!!!)



Thursday, June 23, 2011

Bling till your eyes hurt!


Hello readers!!! Been very busy the past week! I was in Nilai, Times Square (lol), Ipoh and Seremban! Many things to blog about but you have to wait. And come back often. *grin*


I present to you--





It's hard to take good pictures of bling. Too much sparkles; light was heavily reflected. Worse with flash.

Anyway--damn chio!!! The back might be too much though. And the buttons are missing because I stupidly bling them with the same color -_- becoming secret buttons now. People won't get to know where the buttons are located hahaha.

Then I decided to bling my ugly black Xperia X8. Yeah, the new touch screen phone I bought.

Market price: RM1000
Promotion price: RM700
Factory price: RM450

I bought it at RM450. YES BE JEALOUS! I have friend whose father's friend have network to get phones from the factory.

This is it:

I know what you want to say. Not ugly at all. But it's boring! You see, most phones are in black and most plastic phone cases only cover the back.



I wanted to paint my phone in pink but.....  :(

My first attempt to bling my phone was.....

... a failure.

Look at the superglue stain! OMG dunno how I could ignore the ugliness for one week man...

Gross.

So I re-blinged it. Plucking off the diamantes was a tough nut because I used superglue. Smart, I know. Then I put on sticker to cover up the black (and the stains) before I blinged it again.

The final result:



Yes I covered up the buttons. Not showing you the top side, it's damn ugly as I need to leave the holes for charger and earphone open. T_T





I blinged my laptop too:


The sticker I used as base for my phone bling. A little fluffy hehe.


Yay no other person in this world have the same camera, phone and laptop with me!
Actually when you see in real life, my work was VERY messy and I do regret spoiling my 'toys'...

Found this car when I searched for bling images:

Walao eh so bloody bling man! This car should not be put in use, accident rate will increase like hell. Other drivers will go blind having this car flash into their eyesight.



Monday, June 13, 2011

WTF Prom Night 3 ❣ Prom King & Queen

I'm in bad mood because of hormone imbalance & INTI-IU's fucking slow and unstable line so don't be surprised if you find this post emo. And I miss Notty so fucking much okay!!! He was all mad when I was about to leave the house... love bites everywhere :'(

Okay back to the prom. Last part.


Note: Some pictures were taken by hired professional photographers, some were taken from friends' albums on FB. I put blog address on them because I edited all pictures before posting.

Part 1 and Part 2

Some other questions the prom king and queen candidates got:
1. Define success. (James: Success is being able to set a goal.)
2. Describe yourself with a color. (Huey Huey: Blue, according to the Bible...)
3. If you were to change one thing in Malaysia, what would it be? (Wee Boon: I would make the speed limit on roads higher.)

Thanks Kah Wai for the reminder :) Update me if you remember Li Ann's and Danial's first questions, thanks!



The dance-floor was opened by..... Wonder Six!

"I want nobody nobody but you~"


Look at the confidence!


but the PA forgot to stop the music where it was supposed to...


so they continued dancing... impromptu

*clap clap*

Next, the dance-floor started! Deprivation of clubbing for a month got me anxious. I dashed onto the stage wuahahahahahahaha!!! (damn I'm so bipolar now... hormone imbalance is a bitch)

... and I was blinded by flash and disco light


Some chio shots by the photographer:




Don't ask me what is chio. I'm shameless enough to use this word because not all people understand it.

But the meaning is obvious :D

Too bad the dance-floor session was too short (not more than 30 minutes if I am not mistaken), and the guests were not sporting enough. Only a few people danced.



Next, time to announce the winners!!! Oh wait, I promised to attach a photo of the emcees:




Back to the winners! Put your hands together (I know you won't though -_-) for the Best Match!

Rizal and Symone!!! Another interracial pair.


Best Dressed Female...

Farahin! OMG that scarf alone was so elegant. Beside her was Fatimah.




And the PROM KING award went to.....
























Danial!!!



Danial and his Iban partner, Evelyn


Evelyn is gorgeous ♥




Did I win the Prom Queen? Why didn't I mention the Best Dressed Male?




















TADAA!

Benji and Huey Huey!!!



Gotta show you their very cute prizes:

for Prom King and Queen


for the Best Match


for the Best Dressed Male and Female... love these bunnys! (are they?)



Last performance which ended the night:

Li Ann and Syakir, performing "Malaysiaku Gemilang"


another beautiful voice :)


Some random pictures:

Hakim. Many photos in these 3 posts are stolen from his FB albums.


Hazeem folding Jalur Gemilang. Told you, we are a bunch of patriotic kids :D


Epic expressions by Sinclairze and Tpl
(hahaha blame KerMing, Tpl sounds so 亲切~)


My cleavage was blooming~~~
(I know you feel like slapping me. Hahaha!)


I'm not gonna attach a list of people to thank :P just... erm, thanks to all people involved, we had a memorable night! :)


-After prom, in female dorm-
"Fuhhhhhhhh!!! What a release! Damn these heels, make-up and tight dress!"



xoxo
Crazenne