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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hypocritical Censorship

I'm always a tiny bit prophetic. It was proven again yesterday.

I was thinking to blog about a phenomenon:
When people use vulgar words, some like to keep the first (and maybe last few) alphabets and replace the rest with stars.
For example: S***! You f***ing son of a b****!

I used to behave that way too, until some days later I kinda think it is... hypocrisy.

No matter censored or not, don't you mean the same thing? Don't the reader(s) get the same meaning too? So why not just type the whole word out? As if the stars will tone down the harshness and rudeness... If you really think vulgar words are inappropriate, just don't use them lah. Easier for you. Why type the first alphabet then count how many stars should follow??? (that's what I did when I typed the example above)

Right after I got the idea of posting this, a good friend of mine did it!!! Developing telepathy after I kissed her or what?! (will blog about this in future post)

See? So I asked...

And her answer simply impressed me:

HAHAHA! Are you guys intending the same effect or what! This answer is so justifiable man! *LIKE* (true-hearted, no sarcasm)

S-s-so, will your mind read it as bib/tut instead of what it is when you see stars?

In my head the whole word still forms the way it spells! My mind is damn corrupt! Bwahaha!

These few days I am reading XiaXue's blog. Xiaxue is a Singaporean full-time blogger, her blog gets 40k hits each day O_O (I am so jealous I don't want to provide you the link to her blog. lol), and she is known for her sarcastic, blatant, rude style of writing--needless to tell (yet I'm still telling you), she swears like hell. Here is her response to a mother of 2 who asked her to 'keep it clean' when she swore in an online mahjong game:

True. Kids will be exposed to vulgar words anyway. So I was wondering...

Why do we need to censor spoken bad words on TV then?

Surprisingly it took me almost as long as half an hour to find myself an answer. Guess I just like bad words too much! LOL! And I'm not using much in my blog 'cuz I couldn't meet AdSense criteria (I had a post full of big-font FUCKs) when I applied to have their ad boxes. Later I removed Nuffnang and AdBrite ad boxes. Found them annoying since my blog is not popular now and can't probably earn me significant amount of money. Meaning I can swear as much as I can now HA-HA-HA.

Okay back to the topic. The answer I found is...
If spoken bad words are not censored, it gives a sense that saying them has got nothing wrong. Censorship at least still makes people resist using vulgar words, realizing that saying them is morally unacceptable!

So do I still think of censorship on written/typed bad words hypocritical?

Yes. At least censorship on TV somehow leave you clueless about the bad words used. However, by replacing them with ****, the readers can know the exact word you intend to use.

Sounds ridiculous? :/ B-but I care for this small difference! So yeah :D if you want to swear, type the whole word out lah! Why so shy! If really so shy don't swear better lah!

Or you can learn this trick! Inspired by another good friend of mine:
"TUT! You tutting tut why so tutting brainless? Tutting think your tutting tut is tutting holier is it? Never have I seen a TUT like you! TUT!!!"

Hahaha clever right!!! Ah Cling you should learn this lah! Haha!

Oh and don't tell me words don't matter when you use them against people. (I suka-suka call you a fucktard can? Can?) WORDS FUCKING MATTER OKAY. Show you real life example soon. Some rude people pissed me off on Facebook and I have printscreen-ed the whole conversation.

Please look forward to that post with full passion! RAWR!



ps: Comment box here was disabled due to's problem, so my friend left the comment on my Facebook. Now fixed :)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Civilize your parents, please?

I was writing a blog about religion and apparently I have to pause it, because this awesome antique does not allow me to do research fast, and I don't want to rush posting controversial topic without going into depth. By the word 'antique' I'm referring to my bulky old desktop at home. My laptop is at computer shop for the installation of licensed Windows 7, because I think pirated Windows can't make it to the States and I don't want all my files to be deleted. So yeah...

I chatted with someone few hours ago, about 'making it public who you're in a relationship with on Facebook'. It's a no-no for me, and the reason is simple.

Segamat people gossip. Not just normal gossiping, they GOSSIP LIKE HELL, badmouthing about people they know or dunno. You know what I mean if you come from Segamat, and I hope you're not one of the lifeless gossipers. Pff.

Okay it's pretty common actually, who does not gossip? (yes there are some exceptions but most of us are not that holy, admit it) I do gossip too. Badmouthing is another story. Want more precise categorization, read this.

You know what, I don't pretty much care what these motherfuckers of around my age crap about, they are just a whole bunch of nobodys in my life! Their crapping does not make my life worse, only motivates me to be more accomplished, be more influential, earn more money!!!

Guess what, the PARENTS are even more engaged in badmouthing. This is still okay. But when they go beyond limits at times (I'm guessing they don't even know what the limits are), badmouthing about you to your mother's face--

Now that has an impact on me. B'cuz you hurt a mother's feelings. I was too kind to keep quiet. But now I'm revealing this because I don't want these uneducated people to say things to my mum when their children show them my Facebook pictures hugging Caucasians/African Americans/Latino/Mexicans/whatever-race-you-can-think-of throughout my years in the States later and I'm so foreseeing this happens if I don't post about this today.

You just can't imagine how exaggerating these shallow-minded people can get.

Incident 1
This happened after I got my scholarship. There were some classmates of mine who did equally good in SPM but did not manage to get the scholarship. So the know-it-all parents spread rumors saying that I got it because I cheated about my family income, while those who did not get were too dumb to be honest about their family income.

Hello?! We have to submit information about the tax we paid okay? How was cheating possible? And by saying that you meant to imply that I was not qualified to get the scholarship, and I got that by immoral measure? Wtf?

Then came the best part--

One parent went to my mom and threw her this question:
"Eh how did your daughter cheat about family income huh? Teach me lah, next time my children also want to apply for scholarships leh!"

..... great.

Incident 2
My friend was telling her friend about her outing with me and my friend (a guy). A parent overheard.

So this parent went to my mom and threw her these questions:
"Eh your daughter dating ah? Who is that guy? Where is he from? Where he studied at? Since when are they dating?"

... GREAT.

Incident 3
Again, a parent went to my mom and threw her these questions:
"Eh your daughter very open liao hor? Exposing her body on Facebook hor! Wah you let her take picture like that ah? You so advanced liao ah?"

The picture she was referring to is this:

Okay aunty thanks for your concern. My mom is totally fine with that. But please mind your words, because the way you put it gave my mom an heart attack. My mom thought I went crazy due to stress and uploaded naked picture on Facebook. I kinda blame it on her kid too, but I somehow think her kid is innocent to show her my Facebook pictures 'cuz I bet her kid did not predict that she would come to my mom and say all those exaggerating words.

So please, if you're on my friend list and you come from Segamat, please do not ever show your mom (yes, all of the parents mentioned above are aunties) my awesome pictures especially those with bikini unless you're sure they won't do such sakai actions. Or else I have no choice but to remove you from my friend list. And no, I'm not afraid that your parent inform my mom about what I do on Facebook, basically I show her all pictures I post. In fact, the remove-from-friend-list idea is her suggestion. If you wanna share things with your parents, no problem, make sure you educate them first, thank you.



ps: Comment box here did not work due to's problem (now fixed), so my friends gave their feedback on FB... Appreciate your effort :)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Thaipusam Inside Batu Caves & Sai Baba

What was in the cave? Why were people 'sardin-ing' themselves to get up here?

Just... more temples. More people. And more staircase :O

They actually painted the wall as background. Nice.
Note the fence beneath the idols. Perhaps there are really some people who will carry the idols back home to worship, so that nobody can share with them the god's power?
Or maybe they will keep molesting the idols until their color goes off...

More staircase to go O_O

Note the St John Ambulance tent.

Yes. This many people!

That's how terrible I looked after squeezing with people under hot sun, with an empty stomach.

Roosters... seriously? Brought to be freed here. Just roosters, no hen. Erm can they actually survive in the cave???

And monkeys!!! This was a clever one. He took away the whole plastic bag containing food and ran far away from other monkeys to eat alone. But uh oh, here came another monkey! Haha!

Long tail! Many monkeysssss but hard to take picture, 'cuz they moved very fast. They climbed back to the trees at the upper opening of the cave right after they grabbed food.

What a Malaysian habit. Plastic bags containing worshiping materials were thrown in the cave just like that.

While leaving the cave, we saw a person dressing like Cai Shen Ye (财神爷, Chinese God of Wealth) among the crowd. Just when we were wondering what he was doing there, came another person dressing like Guan Yin Ma (观音娘娘, bodhisattva associated with compassion as venerated by East Asian Buddhists). And then came another Chinese dressing like yet another Chinese god which I could not recognize. Really? Was it sorta like exchange student program? O_O

There was also a milk river in front of one of the idols, formed as Hindus poured the milk in their kavadi there.

On our way leaving, we heard the emcee welcoming our Prime Minister with a complimentary speech, emphasizing how his visit was a practice of 'One Malaysia', and later, Prime Minister's speech. He was on the second floor of a 3-floor 'tent' (what's that called? Temporary building for special occasions) near the entrance, some other VIPs sitting behind him. As we walked past, we could see that his skin was very fair, lips very red, feature very sharp. Totally nothing of a typical Malay's look!

Walking back to the bus, we saw big banners of Sai Baba at the roadside. By that time he was still alive. He passed away in April, which is last month. One of the groups in my World Religion class did a presentation about him, they showed a video of him manifesting necklaces for his followers--like magic! He just did a fast grabbing motion in the air, and when he opened his fist(s), there would be things on his palm(s); then he gave them to the followers.

"Devotees said they observed Sathya Sai Baba manifesting vibhuti (holy ash), and sometimes food and "small objects" such as rings, necklaces and watches.

In books, magazines, filmed interviews and articles, Sathya Sai Baba's followers reported miracles of various kinds that they attributed to him.

Internationally, devotees reported that vibhuti, kumkum, turmeric powder, holy water, Shiva lingas, statues of deities (brass and gold), sugar candy, fruits, herbs, amrita (a fragrant, nectar-like honey), gems, colored string, writings in ash and various other substances spontaneously manifested and materialized on the walls, furniture, pictures and altars of Sathya Sai Baba."


Miracle or just scam? I don't know. I only know that he predicted he would remain healthy until he dies at 96, but he died at 84 due to health problems. Hmm.

So that's it, my Thaipusam trip was a great experience, not just physically but spiritually too.

Now, are you moved to join the Thaipusam festival next year? ;)


10 Reasons Why We Use 'Lah'!!!

1. To reduce harshness of rejection
-don’t want lah~
-cannot lah~
-don’t know lah~

2. To mean 'I'm sorry'
-ok lah = ok then, sorry
-I will change lah = I’ll change, sorry
-I know I was wrong lah! = I was wrong, sorry

3. To reassure someone about a fact
-of course lah!
-Ya lah! Notty is a boy lah!
-Don’t worry lah, Datuk Lee Chong Wei will win 'wan' lah

4. To strengthen denial
-no lah, where got?
-(You're Rebecca Black's fan???) What!! Hello!! Please lah!! Siao ar you!!
-I said I never did that lah okay?

5. To convince someone to do something
-come lah, don't be shy lah
-Go lah! Go ‘chase’ her lah!

6. To emphasize items in a list
-In Malaysia, there is Malay lah, Chinese ah, Indian lah, orang asli lah, foreigners lah~
-We have nasi lemak lah, roti canai lah, char kuey teow lah~

7. To plead
-gimme more mark lah T_T
-I want big big pikachu lah...
-Please lah... I don't want shower lah...

8. To show impatience/irritation
-Diam lah = Shaddup lah
-Ok lah! Fine!
-come on lah, common sense you dunno meh?

9. To show disappointment/dissatisfaction (in questions)
-Why you never call me lah~
-Where are you lah?
-Why lah that vampire in Twilight sparkleeeeees

10. To strengthen curses
-Go die lah you!
-Fuck off lah!

I have removed the video because I can no longer bear how I looked so Ah Lian in it... *kill self*

Monday, May 23, 2011

Thaipusam festival, the 'sardination'

Note: Wah, it was 3 months ago when I wrote Kavadi, the most distinct feature of Thaipusam!

First of all (again), scroll down and find the box containing my Facebook page. Click 'like'. :3

So there was a college trip to Batu Caves during Thaipusam, for the purpose of writing reports for World Religion subject. I had already taken WR the semester before, yet I joined the trip because I basically knew nothing about Thaipusam other than "piercing all over the body", as shown in primary school textbooks. (shame on me? :/)

Our college bus stopped in an alley. Beside where the bus stopped, there was a gang of shirtless Indian young men; their hair were all punky. They were shouting, blowing horns, laughing, and such scene had already scared me a little because I wasn't sure whether they're just high or on drug. When we came out of the valley, we were horned by a motorcycle entering the valley, the Indian rider shouted at us 'Tepilah!'--there marked the starting point of we budak Cina getting rude treatment from the Hindus. Yes, I felt fear, 'cuz we're a bunch of unwelcome minority there and some scenes of racial riot popped up in my mind. However, it wasn't too hard to understand how the Hindus felt when the place was so crowded, the weather so hot, and we who had no business there occupied 'their' space and blocked their way just to... er, witness the festival.

We followed the crowd to the highway, across the highway (yes, across the highway, and this is only in Malaysia), towards Batu Caves.

“the gang of striped shirts”

Indian woman selling jeweleries

We reached the entrance after around 10 minutes walk...

... and the 'sardination' process started. Lasted about 30 minutes before we reached the staircase.

<-- Now please click 'like'. Thank you :D

While being squeezed and pushed frontward, we observed carefully
1. the stalls at the left and right sides of the open area between the entrance and the staircase
2. clothings of the Hindus'
3. Kavadis
4. facial expression of those who carried Kavadi
5. facial expression of people protecting the ones carrying Kavadi
6. the gigantic poster of our current Prime Minister, Najib

Along the 'sardination', we heard two words very frequently. The first was 'Tepilah!', which is a Malay word meaning similarly to 'Off my way lah!'. This word was shouted to us by people around those who carried kavadi. After they shouted the word, people around us would turn and look at us with annoyance near to disgust on their faces. The second was a magical word which a majority of Hindus there was shouting repeatedly, sounded like something between 'will, will' and 'well, well' and the exact word was actually 'vel, vel'.

Vel is a spear given by Parvati to God Murugan, so he could vanquish the evil demon Soorapadam. There is a misconception among people that Thaipusam marks Murugan's birthday, but nope, Thaipusam festival is actually celebrated to commemorate this vel-giveaway occasion. They shouted 'vel, vel' to lift spirits.

The gigantic idol of God Murugan with his vel

Temple near the staircase

Note the 'Strictly No Entry' sign. But I saw people inside O_O

All the gods are actually from the same 3 gods: Brahma, Vishnu and Siva; all these 3 gods are from the same 1 god, or the formless transcendental immanent Divine, the "Brahman".

There were policemen and members of St. John Ambulance near the staircase, and we understood why they were there when we looked up...

... looked way more scary than viewed from far!

5 of us instantly held hands/clung onto each other. We went up the staircase, milk split from above dropped onto us, the staircase was wet because of the split milk, the air smelt like a mixture of milk + flowers + perfume + sweat, and we did not have time to stop and wonder, just kept moving and moving... God knows how challenging it was to watch my steps + avoid to bump into people around + hold tightly my camera with one hand, the hand of my friend's with another + shuttle quickly and accurately!

halfway the staircase, another temple

Somehow I managed to turn behind and snap a picture... (I forgot that I could capture this when going down the staircase later -.-)

Look at the crowd! Look how far we had squeezed through!

What's inside the cave? I shall reveal in my next post ;)


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Goodbye, A2-23

My life at INTI International University has ended. Currently, I am rotting at home waiting for these 3 months to pass, and soon I'll be printing my footsteps on the land of America.

Right now I'm in my room at home, which is
a. bigger;
b. cleaner (mum sweeps the floor everyday);
c. tidier (it's big enough to appear tidy even though my luggages and clothes are on the floor);
d. fresher (I have boxes of pandan leaves and charcoal in my room); and
e. more lovely (Notty the cat always walks in and sleeps on my blanket).

Nevertheless I miss A2-23, which is
a. more private (no sudden intruders);
b. more lively (my floor-mates were never quiet...);
c. dirtier (the floor was carpeted with my hair most of the time);
d. colder (no worries about the electricity bills):
e. messier, as shown in the pictures below.

This lovely black-and-white pair of slippers were STOLEN. Second time. What kind of person steals slippers in dorm abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

Okay I think it was not messy after all. It was only messy during the exam week, in all kinds of creative ways...

Well the umbrella was to prevent too much light from reaching the smooth pages and be reflected to irritate my eyes. You know, marathon studying without sufficient sleep. Eye protection is important.

It's only the 2nd week after I bid farewell to A2-23 and I already miss those days which I could sleep and wake up anytime I want, camwhore like nobody's business, skype and talk on phone without restrain, laugh and cry like crazy woman. I think the absence of Notty was the only thing A2-23 lost to my home-room, the rest were beyond bearable.

I broke a small bottle of nail-polish remover the day I moved all my belongings out from A2-23. The acetone evaporated within 1 minute, left behind the pieces of glass on the floor. I was frozen for few minutes, struck by emotions perhaps. As if there was a strong wind blowing, flipping all the pages of my INTI memory book...

And when I saw those precious moments in that room, I almost burst out in tears.

But I didn't.

"You are human. Your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." --Edward Cullen

If the walls have got eyes and ears, will they cry witnessing people stay in, grow up and leave?

Goodbye A2-23.


Oh how i miss the island

I miss floating in the sea. i miss the fishes and the coral. i miss the sun, the heat, and the salty breeze. i miss riding the waves on boat. i miss the coldness of sand under my feet, the wooden chalet and the smell of sun-block lotion. i miss the jokes and the laughters. i miss the calm delight on the island...

Miss wearing bikini too...