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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Missing you deadly

Monologue: Do we always have similar emotions in love?

It’s raining outside, finally. Trying to recall the warmth of your body and I can’t help smiling under my blanket. It is sweet-and-sour like lemon tea that my heart tastes; and when something like an electric shock slides down my spine, I know I am missing you deadly.

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you.

Things are getting addictive lately. This may sound ridiculous, but the fact is, I miss you even when I am right beside you. Every single second I have you on my mind; and after you have been staying there for so long, it seems to be more impossible to get you outta my head. One thing that makes me think that I am sick—I do not want to quit missing you either. Typical masochist in love.

I am enjoying the pain missing you causes, my love.

There is one Chinese song which titled ‘Missing somebody is a kind of illness’. So true. If missing you is made a type of cancer, I am sure I have already reached the last phase. But I am not going to die soon. Still a long way to go being tormented.

The space within me is getting stuffy. Suffocating, my heart and soul are filled with lassitude, thirsty for your love and longing for your touch. As if I jump into the sea though I have never learned how to swim, you are swimming further away and getting out of my sight, and I am drowning in panic, my hands waving crazily in the air reaching for nothing. And I keep on struggling, near death but feel so alive all because of you.

It isn’t difficult to give me a pull, the question is, are you willing to?

The rain has stopped. I am still missing you.

Crazenne (2009)


  1. I love this, im feeling exactly the same rigth now :S what is that chinese song?

  2. 思念是一种病by张震岳