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I write verbose posts about polyamory, love, lust, and self-discovery on my other blog Victoria's Imaginarium.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Ipoh 7 ❣ Amazing Mazes at Kwan Yin Tong 观音洞


Just spent 3 hours adding trademark to my pictures, uploading, and arranging them in order. My eyes are going blind wtf @@

No worries, my elbows are in touch with my wooden table lol.

Sorry for not fulfilling my promise of "blogging at least thrice a week"... If I did, by this time I should be blogging about America already! But the study load is seriously killing me! Guess you have to wait for another week lah--komenasai T_T

(as if I have thousands readers craving for new blog posts zzz)

To compensate, I present to you yet another record-breaking post--

80 photos in one entry!!! :D :D :D

First and foremost, I apology for some of the photos below which are blurry. Cameras ran out of battery and I was using my Xperia X8 phone camera, don't complain lah okay ^_^

Secondly... sorry to Chew Wei, Yoong Shen and Pin Chen for stealing your pictures! Some of the pictures were taken by them using their cameras, some taken by me using their cameras, some taken by them using my camera and phone. I can't be bothered to sort that out... And I edited all photos anyway so I suppose it's okay to claim these pictures as my blog properties ^o^ peace!

Go check out 6 earlier posts about Ipoh trip okay! Freaking awesome!

This ending post of Ipoh series is gonna be the most awesome one!

gigantic Guan Yin statue

Quiz 1: Is Guan Yin a male or a female?

A. Male
B. Female
C. Shemale
D. All of the above
E. None of the above
F. Asexual
G. ___________ (fill in your answer if it is not provided above)

Answer: D

Guanyin 观音 is the bodhisattva associated with compassion as venerated by East Asian Buddhists, usually as a female. The name Guanyin is short for Guan (观observe) Shi (世world) Yin (音sound) which means "Observing the Sounds (or Cries) of the World". It is generally accepted (in the Chinese community) that Guanyin originated as the Sanskrit Avalokiteśvara, which is her male form.

Some Buddhists believe that when one of their adherents departs from this world, they are placed by Guanyin in the heart of a lotus then sent home to the western pure land of Sukhāvatī. Commonly known in English as the Goddess of Mercy, Guanyin is also revered by Chinese Taoists as an Immortal. However, in Taoist mythology, Guanyin has other origination stories which are not directly related to Avalokiteśvara.

Pin Chen, Chew Wei & Kah Wai seeking advice from the fortune teller inside the cave temple. The fortune teller had a headache being troubled by their questions...

Conversation 1
Pin Chen: How far can I go in computer gaming?
Fortune teller: Uncertain... depends on how far you wanna go and how much effort you put in it...
Pin Chen: Huh? Not depends on the speed of loading and the strength of enemies meh?
Fortune teller: Well both depends on how far you wanna go and how much effort you put in it...
Pin Chen: Oh okay... is Purdue University the right school for me?
Fortune teller: Er we don't include angmoh's land in our fortune-telling, you have to approach the Angmoh Branch of fortune-telling lah.
Pin Chen: Walao why you so lousy one?!
Fortune teller: This is the lule lah!!! Y u no ikut law?!

(apparently all balds have a set of 'lule' to follow...)

Conversation 2
Chew Wei: Will my species conquer the world?
Fortune teller: Huh???
Chew Wei: My species Spongebob ah, you dunno meh walao eh.
Fortune teller: Oh yea rite... Well that cartoo- erm, i mean your species Spongebob memang has gone globally popular what?
Chew Wei: So my species already conquer the world?
Fortune teller: Sort of...
Chew Wei: Sort of what?
Fortune teller: I mean yes...
Chew Wei: Awwww. Eh wait how come you know? Spongebob not under Angmoh Branch meh?
Fortune teller: Um Spongebob is international lah... international I know a bit...
Chew Wei: Oh. So will my species continue to conquer the universe?
Chew Wei: Oh sorry sorry, forgot the lule liao, should ask Astronomy Branch right? Okay okay never mind. Paiseh ah...

(fortune teller clenched fists while trying to maintain a smile)

Conversation 3
Kah Wai: I have no question for you, just advise me on anything you like lah.
(he saw the clenching fists)
Fortune teller: *relax fingers* Hmm... let me see... you're a very loyal Taoist...
Kah Wai: Oh really? How do you know?
Fortune teller: I can feel it... the magnetic field... tied to your house...
Kah Wai: My house???
Fortune teller: Yea... your house... your family worship god (idol/statue) in your house... the god is very happy with it... He puts a layer of protection on you...
Kah Wai: *puzzled* Oh thank you!

True story: Kah Wai was cracking his head after the loooooooong Q&A session. His family do not worship the idols in their house. Suddenly he got enlightened and went "OH SO I AM THE GOD!!! THE GOD IN MY HOUSE IS ME!!! AIYO NO WONDER LAH!!!"

Ever since that, God = Kah Wai's nickname. You will see more variations of this claim in my next post.

The sign read: Obedient tortoise, clap clap hand.

I clapped my hands. Nothing happened.

I looked left and right and nobody was nearby. I clapped my hands harder and still nothing happened. Feeling like a total idiot, I knocked on a tortoise shell and yelled, "I clapped twice already so show me what you're supposed to perform!" The tortoise quickly hid in its shell.

I walked away like a boss.

Imitation of the statue of Singapore's mascot, Merlion. The lion head symbolizes Singa ('lion' in Malay), the origin of the name 'Singapore'. The fish body symbolizes Singapore's origin as a fishing village.

Imitation of Langkawi, the mascot of Langkawi Island (at Kedah, Malaysia). 'Langkawi' means reddish brown eagle in Malay.

Statue of a Western boy. Probably symbolizes colonialism Malaysia has gone through?

Statue of a dirty kampung (village) boy going to school. Beside him is a giant crab whereas behind him is yet another Guan Yin statue. o_O

Ancient Chinese soldier with a unicorn and identical Guan Yins behind them wtf.

A mermaid holding her right boob wtf. Behind her is yet another identical Guan Yin statue.

While walking to the entrance of a maze, I saw this and went "IS THIS A PENIS???"

Yoong Shen: "I think..... yes."

*I happily stood beside it and asked Yoong Shen to take picture*

Yoong Shen: "Wei you don't simply touch eh."

*purposely poke here poke there*

Yoong Shen: "...... never mind."

Decorative palm tree beside The Penis. His facial expression shows that he might be a gay.

Entrance of the maze

First station

"In ancient time, when primitive men wanted to get married, they would carry their bride on their back and climb up a cliff, to prove that they were very brave and had the ability to protect their wives.

To prove that you are also a brave man, don't hesitate anymore, act now... CLIMB!!!

What else are you waiting for?"

I found it very amusing because 爬 (the biggest character) means climb or crawl and I imagined some stupid guys started crawling on the floor after reading this. They can join the tortoises outside HAHAHAHAHAHA

Chee Ling and I pretending to play some Chinese chess. Above our heads were memos hung up by visitors, mostly about their wishes and confession.

Second Station
The sign read: Pretty girls love to look in the mirror.

The mirror is a one-sided window, i.e. it is a mirror at one side and a window at another. At the back of the window is a toilet. When I was about to pee, I found out that I could see through the glass and freak out, so I came outside to check. lol

The 5 Chinese characters on the sign were written inversely, which could be corrected when you view them in the mirror.

In front of the mirror are some swings.

Third Station
The horizontal line: Turn Good luck 转好运
The vertical line: Turn over a new leaf 脱胎换骨 (an idiom for an idiom, fair enough? haha)
Those hanging papers beside me are poker cards wtf.

Inside the third station, there was this door called "Earn Money Door".

The visitors are supposed to rotate this wheel in order to 'turn good luck'. It's a symbolism: both turn and rotate when translated into Chinese become 转. (okay i admit i dunno how to put this in a proper sentence)

exit of the third station

Japan's Lake of Wishes (a maze inside the cave)
the entrance

beside the stairs behind the entrance

If you want your wishes to come true, walk across the lake with your eyes closed...

Not as hard as it seems if you have some friends shouting the direction to you!

the exit

"Knock and Wake Up!
No matter what bad habits you used to have, such as gambling, cheating, telling lies, being rude, scolding people... let's hope that after you knock this, you will be inspired and never do those again."

the small space at the exit

Another maze, I call it the Love Maze
the entrance is a bridge

"Stand on the bridge and earn millions, walk on the bridge and live until ninty-nine"

"Rotate 3 times at the bridge entrance, throw a coin at the bridge exit, then make a wish, and the wish shall come true"

It's called the Bridge of Longevity (again! check my previous post!)

天涯海角 the edge of the sky, the corner of the sea. It's an idiom.
Example: She loves him so much and is willing to follow him to 天涯海角.

under the bridge

after the exit of the bridge

turn left from the exit of Longevity Bridge, walk until you see the stairs. Note the chain.

The thing painted in red is the traditional Chinese character of 'door'. Visitors 'lock' their love on the door.

Purple plant in the maze

Vertical line on the left: Lock Fate 锁缘
Horizontal line: some Japanese characters which I dunno
Vertical line on the right: Stone of Fate 缘石

Note the chain again. It was along the passage, all the way here.

another fence for 'love-locking'

Oh so it's an imitation of America's Love Lock!

Beside the America's Love Rock rock wall is this rock called 飞来石, "stone flown here"??? (okay this translation job is really enough! grrrrr)

Zen in Chinese

an imitation of Hong Kong's Tree of Wishes

Visitors write their wishes on pieces of paper and throw them up the tree.

"Rock of the mountain
The past life, you were the children of the sky and the earth
This life, you turn into the kind father of the sky and the earth
and let human demise your back"

(wtf crappy translation! It's a poem which makes no sense anyway...)

3 boxes of water. The signs from left to right: Study, Career, Health. If you wish for good luck in study, drink the water in the 'Study' box. And so on.

a random sign "Primitive village"

decorative tower

"touch me and money will come to you!"

Left: "Go back and forth once, you will earn RM20"
Right: "Go back and forth, win RM240 "

Back and forth where???

identical Guan Yin statues painted gold

"bamboo jungle"

"There are only me and you on the road of Love"

Mount of Wisdom

the entrance

up the stairs, swings at the first turning corner

at the second turning corner

at the third turning corner

When we were about to leave, suddenly many dogs came into sight. They actually looked clean and healthy! Must have been taken of by the people of the temple :)


OMG I'm done with Ipoh Trip series!!!

I left Ipoh the next day after the visit to Kwan Yin Tong. Didn't get to try out Ipoh desserts :(

Thanks to all people, animals, plants, food, drinks and cameras involved! All of you made my trip super awesome, the accidentally spent RM100+ train tickets were totally worth it! (read Ipoh Trip 1 to find out about the 'accident')

I made a promise to myself that I must go to Ipoh again after I graduate. There are many places yet to be explored, especially Ipoh Hidden Lake! The lake is so mysterious even Ipoh people I know do not know where it's located. MUST VISIT.

Comments and critiques are welcome!

(I spent one whole day to do this post so be kind lah please)Link

Next on, KL road trip!



  1. I lol-ed at the conversations XD

  2. ur blog looks like mine....

    u plagiarise...

    this iz not fair...

  3. @Kelvin: Haha internal jokes actually! :P

    @agatha: Excuse me, I AM THE ORIGINAL DESIGNER OF THIS BLOG SKIN, talk about plagiarism??? So where is your blog, to prove your point? COWARD.